You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
