Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
