I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
