My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
