I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize