So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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