Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
