she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
