This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
