How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
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the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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