Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
