And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My pussy is not your playground.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize