Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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