Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
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