that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize