I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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