a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
