I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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