I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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