Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
