Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
