Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Define "chronic" masturbator.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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