I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Randomize
