Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
