just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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