I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
