laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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