This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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