its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
