He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize