I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We smell like vodka and hangover
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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