some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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