Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
