dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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