I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I don't think brook has ever known best
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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