Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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