woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have fence marks all over my body
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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