yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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