You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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