i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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