idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Hippo gnu deer
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
