i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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