i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
