She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
