My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
