end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize