also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
