what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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