did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
