so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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