Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
