I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
