I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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