I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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