I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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