She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
