Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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