I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize