you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
