Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
