I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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